I’ve always felt that I belong on stage, not in the audience. Not so much like a monkey performing, so to speak, but in a different way.
I’ve spent most of my life performing on stage and in public. Playing drums in bands, DJ’ing, doing radio, working on production crews, etc., but it’s never satisfied my hunger to be on stage in a big and different way. Being a “rock star” isn’t it. I know a lot people want that, but as fun as it seems, it’s not the kind of fame I want to receive or the legacy I want to leave.
I remember being In college and going to rock shows with my friends. We’d be hanging out, watching the show and I’d be standing there in the crowd thinking, “I don’t belong here, I belong up there.” I’ve never really known how.
I have been afraid to fully embrace my power and truly express who I am publicly for fear of judgement and failure. I live quietly and do my thing without making a big deal. That’s not what I want either.
Maybe it’s helping people in a great big way? Yeah, that feels right and exciting. Something I want to be part of, no, known for. A hard working guy? Sure! But someone who really healed. Cast a spell of forgiveness, belief, dreams, reality. Being special and feeling awesome, all the time. To motivate and inspire those around me. You. To show yourself the love you deserve. Take care and pride of your self. Don’t give it away until you first forgive you, love you, no matter what. You don’t have to pretend. It’s okay not to like something and change your mind if you end up somewhere that doesn’t feel right….sit right. You know. Trust you. Listen and follow your guide and guides. They’re here, they listen, they follow. My guides are reading this letter right now so, please, hello, thank you and I love you for who you are and will be and for being an example. You shine light and I see it, feel it and accept it. I’m open to you. Show me how to be the preacher teacher that I know I am. Speak my mind. Help, with my words. Be, the person I want to be without fear or shame or regret or emotional discord. But with love and fate and feelingness of one.
To be continued…